Burls Will Be Burls

So here's another bit of ugly transit mall art for your perusal, this time a group of small bronze figures at 6th & Burnside titled "Burls Will Be Burls", a burl being a sort of gnarled growth on a tree. The figures are sorta-anthropomorphized versions of actual burls, but made of bronze instead of wood. Makes perfect sense, right? So, another stellar example of the "Lumpy Little Dudes On Posts" movement of the mid-2000s. Of which I am sadly not a fan, if you hadn't noticed.

It occurs to me though, if there was a horror movie in which Portland public art came to life and went on a bloody rampage, these little bastards would get a lot of screen time. They look malicious, but they're also quite small, sort of like the gremlins in "Gremlins", and "Gremlins" made serious box office. So there's that. I'm thinking something along the lines of "Troll 2" (since the creatures look kind of similar), but all artsy and Portlandy and crap. Naturally there would be a Kickstarter to fund the thing, and long stretches of attempted screenwriting in hip coffee shops around town, and people schmoozing me for gigs playing "Thompson Elk Victim #247" and stuff. Honestly, I'm quickly warming up to the idea. Naturally -- and in the true spirit of Hollywood -- I have no intention of paying royalties to the artists behind our movie monsters, though a shout out in the credits might be appropriate, or maybe a quick mention in a DVD extra, or a footnote on IMDb, or an obscure blog post like the one you're reading now, or something.