excalibur, las vegas

A few photos of the Excalibur, the sorta-medieval-themed casino on the South Strip in Vegas. I'd just like to stress, emphatically, that we did not stay at the Excalibur. It's corny on the outside, and cheap and trashy on the inside. If you like county fairs, you'll love the Excalibur -- it's basically the same idea, except with slot machines, and without the farm animals. I didn't see any farm animals, anyway. Maybe you have to bring your own, if you're into that.

I mean, it's silly to get all snooty and class-conscious in Vegas, of all places, and it's great that the city still has some affordable options despite the ultra-upscale trend of the last few years. But honestly, when I pass through there on my way somewhere else (which happens rather a lot), I instantly realize I'm not among my tribe. When it dawns on you that you're the only guy in the room who doesn't have a favorite NASCAR driver, you just kind of hope you can slink away quietly before anyone finds out.



The worst thing about the Excalibur is the shopping arcade on the level above the casino floor. If you're on your way to or from the Luxor, you have to make your way through this claustrophobic, low-ceilinged maze of twisty little passages all alike. It's lined with cheap trinket vendors, their wares spilling out into the passageway, plus a few fast food vendors here and there, I guess for sustenance as you try to find your way out. The labyrinth is confusing enough when you're perfectly sober. And if, hypothetically, one was nursing the last dregs of a mega-monster-sized frozen mango daiquiri in a novelty cup at the time, no doubt it would be even more perplexing. Hypothetically speaking.